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We’re so excited that you could join us for our coffee chat.
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Today’s focus is on the stress response in the brain and what to do
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when it has hijacked your brain. I’m Lisa Regul,
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I’m one of the founders of Jakapa and I’m excited to bring you some
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of this information today. So the first thing to think about
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when you think about a stress response is that we think our brain as
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just like the brain. But it’s actually like a giant corporation with lots
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of departments. So just like a big company you have a data department,
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you have a security department and IT department,
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you have a CEO’s office. In our brain there’s three main departments
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that are responsible for stress. There’s our thalamus,
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which is our data manager, there’s the amygdala,
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which is our security monitor and there’s the prefrontal cortex,
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which is our CEO. So as we think about these departments,
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you can use your fist to think about how they work together.
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And I would encourage you to share this with your students or your children.
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So if you look at the fist, you have at the very base of
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the brain is where we find the thalamus.
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And the thalamus is job is to take an information.
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In the middle of the brain, there’s a little common-sized component called
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the amygdala, and the amygdala is our security center.
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It is the one that decides whether or not we need to hit a
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panic button and do fight versus flight.
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And then, finally, there’s the prefrontal cortex up here,
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and the prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain worth thinking and logic
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and reason happens. So you can kind of think of this fist because if
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we allow the thalamus to send a message to the amygdala that we’re in
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danger, then we disregulate and all of a sudden there’s no connection
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anymore between the parts of the brain.
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So as we think about the thalamus that’s your data manager and what his
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job is is to analyze all the sensory data in the environment and create
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a report and so they,
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you know, cite, smell, sound,
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situations, all of that goes into our thalamus and then they kind of type
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up if you think of it as like an incident report But the problem
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is that the thalamus is programmed because of evolutionary biology,
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it is programmed to send the report to the amygdala or the security center
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by email, which is super fast,
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and send the report to the CEO by snail mail.
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So by design, our brain wants to know our re-endanger,
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because if we’re in danger, then we need to react before we really think
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about it and use over it. So your security center gets that information first.
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Then you have your amygdala, which is your security monitor.
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His job is to read that data that report and analyze the danger level.
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If the danger is high, then our amygdala hits the alarm and sends all
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these chemicals. We have adrenaline and cortisol and all the stress chemicals into our
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body. It also shuts down our CEO’s office because if
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we are in trouble, we need to fight,
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light or freeze, we don’t need to think about it.
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The final part of the brain then is your CEO,
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which is your prefrontal cortex where your thinking happens.
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What her job is is to calmly read the report and then analyze using
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logic. So we’ve had this happen before,
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and we were safe. It’s okay, we don’t need to be alarmed by this.
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But again, as I was saying before,
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your security monitor gets that information before your CEO.
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So, if you have a security monitor who is super excitable,
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then that panic button is already hit.
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And when the panic button is hit, it sends your CEO out to lunch.
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And the problem with that is just like in any job,
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the more you do your job, the better you get at it.
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And so if you have a CEO who doesn’t ever get to do her
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job, because she’s always sent out to lunch,
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because this body is always in a constant stress response,
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then the CEO doesn’t get good at her job.
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And the CEO’s job is the executive function needs.
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So executive function includes being able to plan and organize.
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So your time management, your task management,
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responsibility management. It’s also your ability to be adaptable and shift between
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situations and thoughts. This part of the brain sets priorities so
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that you can decide what to work on first, what can weight,
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and even priorities on what you’re thinking about.
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And then also that monitoring component,
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whether or not you’re keeping on track, how you’re doing,
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it’s that sort of meta cognitive function where we learn how to learn,
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we learn what makes sense for us. And then it’s also about controlling our
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emotions and our impulsivity and using working memory.
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So we develop soft skills in the brain.
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We can’t do that if our brain is hijacked by a stress response.
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So, you might have the data manager saying this place is dangerous and
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then your security monitor going, oh, I better hit the panic button and now
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you get into this hijacked response. The problem is that every time the panic
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button is hit, the panic button becomes more like a hair trigger and
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so less and less and less will lead to a stress response.
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So oftentimes, the problem may be your data manager.
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So if you have a data manager that has a negative confirmation bias,
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and basically what that means is your data manager thinks that the world is
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dangerous or scary or people are out to get you,
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maybe there’s social anxiety, and they think people aren’t going to like them.
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So then what happens is our brains are programmed to confirm biases,
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and it’s actually for protection,
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you if in, you know, way back when in evolution,
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if you ended up where, you know,
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you saw a certain type of animal and you learned that that animal was
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dangerous, then every time you would see that animal,
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you would be concerned about your safety and you might have your security monitor
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hit the button. The problem is that when you have a confirmation bias
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that’s negative and, and it’s,
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you know, the world is not all dangerous and scary.
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There’s lots of positive things, then you end up where your security
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monitor gets hypersensitive. And there’s a picture here of tuning forks because
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it’s very interesting. Scientists have started actually studying,
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we’re all, you know, energy. And so we can actually record how
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we vibrate, how the energy and our body vibrates.
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And positive energy when you feel joy vibrates at 520 hertz.
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And if you think about a tuning fork,
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the way a tuning fork works is if you hit the tuning fork,
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then another tuning fork that is programmed to the same
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level of hurts will vibrate.
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So like vibrates like. So if you have a positive confirmation bias,
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your body actually at the cellular level is vibrating at a higher hurts.
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And what will happen is you will notice the things in your environment that
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are vibrating at that same level. So again,
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the energy kind of explains how that phalamus works and the idea that if
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we believe that the world is is safe and supportive,
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then we’re going to notice things every day that are safe and supportive.
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You could have two people who have the exact same experience in a day.
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And at the end of the day, you say, how was your day? And
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if they have a positive confirmation bias,
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they’ll say it was pretty good day because they’ll remember the things that were
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good that confirmed that bias, where if they have a negative bias,
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they’ll say, oh, is the worst day. And then they’ll cite all the negative
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things that happened. And the person with the positive confirmation bias might be like,
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oh, yeah, I guess that did happen, but it’s not the part that they
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remember. The other piece that’s really important about stress is
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that it not only lives in our brain, but it actually lives in our
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body. And so there’s a couple different systems involved.
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One is our nervous system. So we have a sympathetic nervous system.
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That’s like the gas pedal. and it energizes our body,
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and it actually activates when we breathe in.
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So if you ever need a little pick me up of energy,
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you can go and breathe in real quick and then exhale slowly,
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breathe in real quick and exhale and energize your body.
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The parasympathetic nervous system is the brake pedal in our body.
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It relaxes our body, and it’s activated when we breathe out.
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So when someone is stressed, having them breathe deeply and take more
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time on the breath out is really important if you’re tired and you want
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energy spend more time on the breath in and then let it out really
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quick. The other part of our body that’s involved in the stress responses,
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the polyvagal nerve. This is kind of the highway that connects a stimulus in
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our body systems to our brain.
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So for example, they call it our social relationships nerve.
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And so, as you think about, you know, sometimes it’s even things that we
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don’t notice in our body, like our heart rate and our heartbeat and how
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we feel when we’re in certain situations.
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There was a very interesting study done about non-burble face,
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it’s a face study. So people would have different expressions and then they would
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ask kids, you know, what is this face telling you?
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And what was interesting was that students who have a hyperact stress response
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or students who are getting ready to go through puberty lost the ability
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to read facial expressions and especially for teenagers.
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You think about, you know, we’re all worried about them all the time.
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I’m a parent with a 19 in a 22 year old.
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I can only imagine that for probably five or six years,
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my face was always concerned because you’re worried about them.
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You want to make sure they’re okay. They’re safe. they’re doing what they’re supposed
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to do. The problem is that they only interpret happiness
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or obvious surprise or obvious sadness.
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Basically, any other face, so concerned or contemplative,
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all those different kinds of faces, they interpret as anger.
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So when they interpret it as angry, then that sends a message from their
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thalamus to their amygdala that says, hey,
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somebody’s angry at me. I better like,
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show myself up and be ready to fight and so it activates that
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panic button. So one thing that I’ve always encouraged teachers and parents to do
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is name your face. So when you’re talking to a student or your child
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to be able to say, hey, this right now, this is not anger.
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I’m just worried and helping them to make that connection between what your face
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looks like and what your emotion is.
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The other thing you want to do is connect stress to the stress lives
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in our body and it can impact the the vagal nerve also impacts your
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stomach and your bowels and see you think about students who have you know
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nervous stomach or maybe they get nervous about something in the end of with
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diarrhea. So you want to connect stress to the body because the other piece
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is we may not always understand exactly how we feel.
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We may not have the words to describe the emotions we’re feeling but anybody
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can tell what their body feels like.
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So asking, what does your body feel like when it’s stressed?
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And having them make that connection, you know,
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are you somebody who starts to get shaky?
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Are you somebody who gets hot? Are you somebody who starts to fidget or
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get like, you know, jittery or bounce a leg up and down?
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Like, what are the things that I could start to notice?
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Oh, gee, I’m getting hot. What am I stressed about?
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Maybe I’m stressed. And sometimes we don’t even know where stressed.
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Have you ever had a day at the end of the day where you
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sit down and all of a sudden you’re like man my shoulders are tight
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and I didn’t even realize that I was stressed all day so connecting the
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stress to the body feelings when you do that you’re able to start to
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change that hijack stress response because now when I start to feel hot before
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I hit the panic button I’m able to say okay wait a minute my
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stress is ramping up I need to intervene and calm my body down so
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that I don’t end up in a situation where I am out of control
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from stress. The second question that you can ask is what does your body
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look like? And this can be really helpful because that way there’s a cue
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that you can look for in others to understand,
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hey, you’re getting stressed. I did this activity once with teachers and one of
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the teachers said, well, when I get stressed,
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my eyebrows go way up and her teammates were like,
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oh, yeah, they do. And so the teammates were able to look at her
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and if they’re in a team meeting and her eyebrows disappear behind her bangs.
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They know, hey, wait a minute, she’s getting stressed. Maybe we need to take
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a temperature, take a break, take a breath,
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and let everybody get calm down before we move on.
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And then the third question that’s super important is what does your brain tell
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you? And it is specifically phrased that way,
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not what are you thinking, because what are you thinking?
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Assumes that your CEO is at her desk and making decisions about what you’re
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thinking. But when the stress response has hijacked your brain,
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your CEO is out to lunch. So the person who’s doing the thinking for
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you is your amygdala and your thalamus,
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they’re the ones that are sending the messages. And so asking what does your
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brain tell you separates a person from shame or control like
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that this is some kind of a character flaw that I have and it
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helps them to say, you know what my brain is telling me that I’m
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in danger, but I’m not. And so it helps to reconnect that CEO with
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the messages that a brain might sending that aren’t accurate,
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and it reduces that sense of shame that there’s something wrong with me that
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I’m thinking that everybody hates me or that,
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you know, I’m gonna be, you know, embarrassed or whatever it is.
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You can, you can separate yourself and say, that’s just my brain telling me
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that and it’s not true. So the second part of this connecting to the
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body is once you understand how your body experiences stress,
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then you say, what can I do? So how do I regulate that system.
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How do I get that parasympathetic nervous system to calm me down?
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And where can I go to be safe so that I can find a
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spot where I can relax that stress response?
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The other pieces that are super helpful is understanding what can others do and
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what should people not do? Some people don’t want to be touched when they’re
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when they’re stressed out. Other people really want to hug.
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And if you have somebody who does not want to be touched and you
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go to give them a hug, you can actually escalate their stress.
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So, doing this kind of a chart becomes like a social contract that
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says, hey, here’s who I am.
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Here’s what I’m going to do to try to control my stress.
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And here’s how the environment can help me do that better.
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So, here’s an example of what that looks like when it’s finished.
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So, in this particular case, this was a fourth-grade boy who was
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super, super anxious about math. And he had low-working memory in his
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executive functions. and so he would struggle to remember the math.
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He would do two or three or four problems and then he couldn’t remember
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how to do the problem again. He would get super stressed out and he
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would literally have like an internal panic attack.
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And so you can see here we looked at stage one,
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stage two, and stage three. So when he first starts to get stressed,
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he starts to have his hands wet, his face might get red,
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his body might freeze, and he might not respond to if he’s talked to.
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And, you know, this is where we end up disciplining students because we don’t
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understand there having a mental health moment. So if I’m trying to talk to
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a student and he’s not responding, I’m like, oh, you’re being in subordinate.
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So now you’re in trouble. Well, that’s not really what’s going on.
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What’s going on is he is in a stress response and that’s how he
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reacts to stress. When he starts to get more stressed,
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he doesn’t know what to do. Now he’s tapping his foot.
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His shoulders are tense. He might actually start talking back to you at that
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point, which at that point we say, oh,
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you’re being defiant and we discipline them.
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When the reality is again, he’s moving into an internal panic attack.
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The third stage is he just gives up his hand shake and at this
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point he can’t even hear. So you can see just from these stages of
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stress, if we respond to this person when they’re in that state,
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how successful are we gonna be? We’re not gonna be very successful trying to
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reason or trying to just tell him to get to work,
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what we need to do instead is make sure that they understand how to
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calm their body down and that we’re doing what is necessary so that that
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student can do that. So, for example,
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in this child,
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you know, the stage is short for the first one,
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move me to a quiet space. The second,
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you know, let me take a brief break and remind me to calm my
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body down. Gover maybe the steps that I’m supposed to be doing help me
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get started. And then, you know,
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the third face is, again, he’s in a void or so it’s like let
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me leave the room for a minute. Let me let me just go call
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myself outside of this room because being in that room continues to escalate the
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stress. Using nonverbal signals to help me remember to breathe.
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You know at this point if you remember stage three he can’t hear well
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and he’s really shutting down so a nonverbal signal can really help him
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remember okay I’m really I’m really in trouble right now I just need to
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breathe and And then there’s some things there that you can see that are
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what not to do. We often times escalate situations because we don’t
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connect stress to the body and we don’t recognize the physical symptoms
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of what’s going on and the fact that we need to have de-escalation techniques
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prior to ever trying to problem solve a reason.
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So here’s what a couple of them look like with students from a high
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school. So this is a student who you can see here,
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you know, fidgety, watery eyes, this student it’s sarcastic.
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When they get to stage two, now they get spiteful.
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And so, if you are observing, first it’s sarcasm,
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so maybe your little red flag goes up that hate is,
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could start into having a stress response.
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If they start getting spiteful, you know that it’s escalated,
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and if they get to a complete shutdown or don’t talk to me,
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they’re trembling, they’re crying, then you know that there’s no point reasoning with them.
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Instead, we have to help them calm themselves down.
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And you can see here, this person’s response is leave me alone.
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What should you not do? Don’t ask me questions.
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Don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me. Don’t breathe in my general direction.
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So, this student needs to be able to escape.
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And you can see that the calming techniques are escape techniques.
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Let me read. Let me go for a walk.
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Let me listen to some music. On the opposite end of the spectrum is
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this child. You know, when they are feeling anxious,
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they get nervous, they start to think,
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maybe they get confused at stage two and then at stage three,
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they’re shutting down. And you can see here,
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they have some techniques to do, but what they want the teacher to do
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is to help me guide me, listen to me.
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You know, what they shouldn’t do is pressure me or keep bugging me about
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it or just awkwardly stare at me. So this is a completely different set
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of needs for this student than for the previous one.
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Then you have some students who are like, leave me alone,
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but then ask things escalate if they’re not able to take care of their
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own stress and calm their body down,
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then they need some help. So a couple things you can think
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about when you’re working with students or your child around trying to calm the
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body is that, you know, when you remember the panic button was hit,
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cortisol, adrenaline, all these chemicals flood the body.
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And at that point, the animal side of us takes over.
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We’re going to fight, we’re going to run away or we’re going to freeze,
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whatever we decide is our, you know, best mechanism for being safe.
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Water can actually metabolize cortisol. So one thing that can be really helpful is
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to give the, the kid a glass of water and just give him a
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minute. Let him drink some water, breathe,
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try some of the, the calming techniques that they have,
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and that water will speed up the amount of time that it takes for
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a body to calm down. And I’ll give you an example.
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I was working with a school for very at-risk kids and they had a
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runner who’s not like on the track team but like took off and ran
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out of the building. So the principal and I this child
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was like way down the street. So we got in the car and drove
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down the street. Normally what would you do?
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You’d put the window down and you’d be like what are you doing? Where
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are you going? Well that would just escalate him. So instead what she did
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was she rolled the window down and she said man, you never told me
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we’re such a great runner and the kind of looked at her like yeah
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and she said you know you’ve run a really long way you’re far away
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from the school. So you realize you’re gonna turn around and run all the
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way back and the kid kind of looked behind him and realized how far
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he’d gone and she said you want to ride back I’ll just give you
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a ride back. So we got in the car she handed him a bottle
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of water we said nothing on the ride back.
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Then she got to her office she put him in her office and said
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hey I just have something I need to do real quick.
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Gave him a couple more minutes let him finish the and then when she
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walked back in, she was able to say, so tell me what happened,
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what made you want to run? And now the kid unloaded everything that he
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needed to say. So you can see that understanding stress,
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and how we deal with it to prevent escalation,
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can make all the difference in the world in helping a student process that
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stress and process the behaviors that they did because of it.
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The other thing that’s kind of interesting is that our eye position actually activates
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different areas of our brain. So,
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when we are looking up, we are activating our CEO in the prefrontal cortex,
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which is why when you ask somebody a question sometimes they go,
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um, and they look up. It’s just an automatic thing that says,
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hey, wake up CEO. In the middle,
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if we’re looking around outside our eyes,
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ears, nose, who’s in charge, phalamus,
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he’s getting all of the information. Our data manager is on overdrive saying,
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hey, what’s going on in our environment? What are we hearing?
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What are we seeing? And he’s busy writing that report.
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When we look down, our limbic system is activated,
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and so you’re amygdala and that’s security response,
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and so you think about when you get in trouble,
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what do you do, or if you’re ashamed, you oftentimes without even thinking about
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it, you look down. So another piece that’s really important to help in calm
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that stress brain is to look up,
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because that will take away that limbic system constant reinforcement,
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and it’ll who the CEO to say, hey, time to come back from lunch
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and start having a conversation with this body of yours.
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And so another thing that I’ve seen work really well is to create a
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calming corner with a bean bag or something that you’re kind of lying backward,
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reclined a little bit. You can put some fun relaxing pictures on the ceiling,
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so it gives you something to look at. So you know,
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you drink in a glass of water, and lean in back, looking up,
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and all of a sudden that body temperature goes down,
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that body stress response goes down,
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and it allows us to reason our way out of stress.
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So in understanding how we can help students,
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that name it on it, control it, that name it on it,
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control it plan is a reactive solution.
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It’s planning for stress. It’s saying, here’s how I experience it,
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here’s how I’m gonna call my body, and here’s what I need from my
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environment to call my body. But the way that our brain learns,
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If we want to be proactive to avoid stress,
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is to understand we learn through repetition,
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experience and emotion. So,
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you know, you think about learning math.
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We regularly daily practice math facts.
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It’s that repetition, it’s that experience of every day,
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and maybe it’s the emotion of getting a good score.
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If the emotion is high enough,
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then we don’t need as much repetition. So,
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you know, I have two kids. I don’t need 12 kids to remember the
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birth experience and completely understand the first few weeks of trying
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to take care of a baby, it was highly emotional.
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So our brain learns through this repetition experience and emotion,
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we’re kind of like a highway. So when we’re born,
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our brains just a giant field of grass.
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And then through repetition, we start to build roads on our highway
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with off ramps. So for example,
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when I’m first born, I cry when I’m wet or when I’m hungry.
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And that’s my when I’m wet or hungry,
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then I cry. But then that then from crying is replaced with when I
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cry, my mom comes to me and either feeds me or takes care of
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my needs or changes my diaper or my dad comes and picks me up.
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So you start to develop these pathways in your brain when then plans.
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You know, sometimes we develop really bad offerings.
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So you know, as adults, we might say, man, I’ve had a hard day.
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I need a drink, right? We don’t really need to drink.
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It’s probably the worst thing for you because it’s a depression.
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However, we get on this like automatic,
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man, I’ve had a bad day get off at that exit and I’m going
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to do something that’s unhealthy. As we want to be healthier,
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we need to think about what are the offerings that lead us to opportunities,
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to better choices, to happier life,
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but it takes time and repetition and emotion and celebration and experience
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to get there. So you can use something called a when-than-plan to help
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students start to build those highways in their brain.
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So repeated experiences build those off-ramps and it can be really hard to resist.
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So you know, sometimes we have students who, for whatever reason,
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their life has continually taken them to the wrong exit on the highway.
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But just like if you’ve ever been on the highway and you have to
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use the restroom, you want to get off at the fastest exit you can
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find to go to the restroom. So let’s say you get off in an
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exit and you go to a horrible part of town and you end up
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getting mugged or your car gets stolen.
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Well then the next time you get off at that exit and you end
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up with the same outcome. The next time you get off at that exit.
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So some people’s lives have been driven to the wrong exit.
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However, what’s important to remember is what we are asking the brain to do
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when we’re building a new exit is we’re asking that brain to stay in
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pain longer. So if you have to go to the bathroom,
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maybe the next exit is not for five miles.
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You have to stay uncomfortable but until you get to the exit that takes
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you to the better part of town where you’re not going to have your
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car stolen or get beat up. So as we think of those highways in
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our brain, we need to think about how do we do it enough that
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repetition and that experience and that emotion so that that exit becomes
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our automatic off ramp and the exit to the bad part of town gets
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overgrown and it’s more work than it’s worth to go off that exit.
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So what a win then plan looks like is you think about what are
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the things that trigger your stress? So in this particular example,
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this was a student who got super stressed when they got stuck and forgot
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what they just learned, or if they were being told to use a certain
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method and they didn’t understand that method or they liked the methods that they
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used. And we see this a lot in math because math is taught,
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you know, students are taught to solve math problems in multiple ways,
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using multiple different processes. Well,
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00:27:07,450 –> 00:27:12,070
sometimes a kid might like one process over another and really resist using a
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different process and it stresses them out because now they don’t feel capable.
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They don’t feel knowledgeable. Maybe they don’t understand the lesson or they need to
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get their math completed or they just don’t get it.
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So these were the stressors that would lead this child to shut down.
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So if you remember, your CEO is out to lunch when you have a
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stress reaction. So, if the when statements are the things that cause a stress
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reaction, then if you get into the moment where you start to
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feel that stress and you start to send your CEO out to lunch,
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you need an intervention. You need something right then.
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So, in this particular case, that’s the then part of the when then plan.
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So, if I get stuck and forget what I just learned,
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I’m gonna write the steps to the problem and I’m gonna have the teacher
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check that I have them down and help me think of ways to remember
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them. So it seems simple, you know,
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if I don’t understand the lesson, I’ll raise my hand and ask.
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But remember when you get into that stress and the stages of stress escalate
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and for some people they escalate super fast,
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they go from 0 to 3. Other people can live in mild stress for
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a long time. But when you get to that point where you’re truly at
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a crisis point, you don’t have the mental acuity all the time to reason
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through. And so having this written down,
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so what we did is we did when then plans and then we had
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them taped to the desk. So that way the student has their name at
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own it control it plan that says, okay, this is how I experienced stress
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in my body. So now they’re starting to get more self-aware of how they
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experienced stress. So when they start to feel those physical symptoms,
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they can look down at their desk and say, okay,
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which one of these when statements is happening right now and what should I
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do? And so these when then plans can prevent stress and they can also
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become an intervention and to calm that body down before we’re out of control.
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So hopefully this was interesting to you and gave you some practical suggestions of
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things you can do, and a little bit more understanding about how the brain
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processes stress and what happens when we have a hijack stress response.